Speaking up

Today I had class at UW. We meet every other week at the beautiful Seattle campus and our class days are long. Classes this quarter is not too lengthy, however, which is nice. We're there about 7-8 hours for two classes. 

Confession: I have a fears. One prominent fear is speaking up, mostly in front of a lot of people. In high school, I put myself in front of other people because I love to lead... behind the scenes. I learned early on to be a leader you still had to put up with some public speaking and some embarrassment and some "being different."

This is when I was a counselor at a WA state leadership camp the summer after my senior year in high school. It was a few weeks definitely full of stand-up-in-front-of-a-bunch-of-people-and-make-a-fool-of-yourself, but it was one of the best experiences of my life.

To this day I rarely, if EVER, ask a question in a college class. At BYU, most classes start out with a prayer beforehand and even that gave me intense anxiety. I would never, ever volunteer. Praying... something I do multiple times a day and something that is a normal part of every function in my church. When a teacher says, "We are going to call on random students to answer questions and participate," it makes me want to get up and run out of the classroom. I've realized a few reasons why this real-life scenario actually scares me:

1. I'm afraid that I will ask/say something that was just talked about 5 minutes ago when I wasn't paying attention 

2. I'm afraid that what I will ask/say will sound stupid

3. Every time I speak in front of people my face turns really really red and I start sweating and my heart beats so loudly that I can't hear anything else

To add to my fears, in my current DNP program I am the youngest one. I am the least experienced one. I get to learn from an incredible group of colleagues, peers and professors that have what seems like a million times more nursing, professional, and "real life" experience than I do. It is really intimidating. I have been reassured by my fantastic program director many times that I can and will succeed in this program even with my limited background (and I really do believe her!) and the process of feeling comfortable putting my two baby cents in is coming along well. Slowly, but it'll get there. 

So today, I have a small triumph to share with you. I spoke up! Not in front of the class, but in a small group. Hey, it's progress right? I took charge of my group of eight or so students as we planned our final project that is due in three weeks. It took a few tries for me to voice my ideas without being intimidated by objections and critical comments by my group members. But I stuck with it and voiced a vision for our project that everyone actually liked, and then I proceeded to organize who would do each part of the project with the group. I felt like a ringleader for the first time in years. I used to feel that way all the time. It felt awesome to be listened to and valued among amazing nurses that I respect so much. It felt exhilarating to know that what I had to say was worth something, my ideas were good and I knew what the heck I was talking about. And my group seemed surprisingly very happy to be a little bit more organized, cohesive and to have someone taking the extra responsibility of "being in charge." 

Being a leader is a very important part of who I am. I reference high school a lot in my posts (and in real life) because I feel like that is when I developed a very strong sense of who I really am. I was very active in leadership in high school and that made me happy. Those skills and interests became dormant when I suddenly was just a face in a student body of 33,000 at only 18 years old. I am giddy after taking such a small but rewarding risk today and I am excited that as I get older, my confidence in my knowledge and abilities is resurfacing. I hope you can do something that makes you a little bit nervous and overcome a fear today - however small it is.

Have a happy weekend! 

2013 in review!

Hello, blogosphere! I have been MIA for a while, mostly due to family events, work and catching up on sleep whenever I can! But here I am, and 2013 is already over. I can't believe it!

New Year's has never been a favorite holiday of mine, mostly because I have a hard time staying awake past 10:30 on most nights. I like setting goals on a normal basis, so new year's resolutions don't have too much weight with me. But I love the fact that the new year prompts me to reflect on my past year in gratitude and to identify lessons along the way. Also, Matt proposed to me on New Year's Eve two years ago, so that makes it a lot more special :)

Matt and I have been so blessed this year. 

Here is our 2013 in review... mostly in pictures because those are the best! 

Matt thrived and I survived in the brutal SLC winter! It is so beautiful, but makes me grateful again for my rainy Seattle winters.

We sent off our favorite sister missionary to Toronto, CA.

Matt and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary with some snowboarding and a weekend away. 

I got into UW, the grad school of my dreams! Matt graduated from BYU with his Bachelor's in Exercise Science. Woo hoo!!

We "partied hard" with friends and did lots of camping during our last month living in Utah. I graduated with my Bachelor's in Nursing from the U of U. 

We camped some more at Matt's family property and left the first place we called home together for good. We moved to Seattle to begin our job and house hunt!

We made a quick trip back to Utah for my grandfather's funeral. We were lucky enough to also spend a lot of time with Matt's family! We miss them!!

Our little Lizzie got baptized, marking the end of an era in the Hutchings family! She's getting so old! *tear*

September was a busy month... we moved into an old, dilapidated farm house. We fixed it up and called it home, enchanted by the beauty of the fields and coyotes that came with it. I started my first quarter at the UW and we got to go to Coeur D'Alene and watch Andy play football. 

We both (finally) had jobs in October! Matt started working as a Personal Trainer at the Pro Sports Club and I started working as an RN at Pediatric Associates. We both love our jobs and are so blessed to have work. My best friend Lauren also got married (back in September) but I got to finally see her at her open house here in Seattle!!!

We spent a fantastic Thanksgiving with my family and counted our blessings many times. Also, kept up the tradition of the Turkey Trot! (we also moved out of aforementioned farmhouse, into a townhome in Bothell. We love our new place!)

We went to Matt's swanky work Christmas party where we both won some prizes - yay for Roulette! We got to spend more time with my fam for Christmas and my sister Mallory got ENGAGED! We are so excited for Tyler and Mall and can't wait to welcome him into our family officially!

Have a happy new year and a fun, safe night! Bring on 2014!!

Happily EMPLOYED.

Yes, if you're friends with me on facebook (which is how most of you get to this blog), you probably know that this week I got a job. A JOB! After 4 months of searching, I have finally landed an RN job here in the Seattle area. I am beyond happy!

I get to work as a float nurse with a company called Pediatric Associates. They are the pediatric clinic that I went to growing up (and my younger siblings still go to). We love that place! They have seven clinics all over Bellevue, Redmond and Sammamish. I get to work 4 days a week and I am so excited that I get to work with kids. In my desperate job hunt, I've been searching for any RN job - so there was a very real possibility that I would be working in adult medicine. Not my thing. Go pediatrics!

Anyways, as far as "new grad" nursing jobs go, this is a pretty nice setup. I only work one weekend shift per month (that I choose), I work one holiday a year (that I choose), and no night shifts! Yay!!!! I was dreading getting a job at a hospital where I'd be the verrrrry bottom of the seniority chain and I'd be working three nights a week, every weekend and Thanksgiving and Christmas at the very least. 

Matt in his new work uniform. SO CUTE!

God's hand is in our lives. I am blessed to have such incredibly supportive friends and family, not to mention Matt, who all stood by my side through months of dead-end applications and frustration. You are all wonderful! And I know I will have many, many more lessons from upstairs on patience throughout my life... I don't think I was very pleasant while enduring this one. 

A beautiful rainbow over the farm yesterday. 

 Another note: this week I helped Andy ask his girlfriend to their homecoming dance by filling her car with balloons and writing a cute note and such... is this a dead tradition?! I have the feeling that not very many teenagers take the time/money/effort to "ask" people to dances in a clever and creative way. I think it is certainly more prevalent in the LDS culture, but I wish it wouldn't die out! I think it is so cool in that it makes whomever is being asked feel very special. It also takes a considerable amount of thought and planning - which are great for teenagers to practice, if you ask me! So I suppose I don't care if it's not a normal thing to do... as long as Andy is in high school and has bossy older sisters like Mallory and myself, he will definitely be getting direction from us on how to ask a girl to a dance properly and make her feel special. What do you think about this "tradition"?

Helping Andy get balloons for his homecoming plan

I hope you all have a happy Wednesday!! 'Till next post :)

School, work, and dreaming of sunshine.

Sorry that it's taken me SO long to write this post! We haven't had internet at our house until (hopefully) today. It's been a little difficult living in a home without internet, and I've been trying to get by with just school and visits to the library and my parent's house. 

Here are a few more pictures from our trip to Coeur D'Alene:

It was so incredibly beautiful there... Matt and I have a dream of owning a cabin on the lake someday :)

Here's a catch up of the last few weeks: Matt started his job at Pro Club on Tuesday. He has long hours and a tired brain from all the information he's soaking up in his orientation but he absolutely loves it. I am so excited for him!

I had the two-day orientation at UW for my doctorate program last week, and my first day of class this Thursday. I am still getting used to the bumper-to-bumper traffic commute into Seattle but I am so happy to be starting school once again. I am one of seven Pediatric Nurse Practitioner students, and we are part of a cohort of 68 Doctorate of Nursing Practice students (including other disciplines such as Adult/Geriatric, Maternity, Psych and Family). It is so wonderful to be advancing my education in the nursing field and to be able to study at the #1 nursing graduate school in the nation. I am surrounded by classmates and professors with years of experience in many different settings, so I have much to learn. The program is a "hybrid" program, meaning half of it is online. This is great because is requires me to go to campus for class only once every other week - which offers me a lot of flexibility. 

That flexibility is great because I am on the verge of getting a job (I hope)!! I have had two interviews and I have another scheduled on Monday. The jobs are all wonderful opportunities and I will be working full-time (4 ten hour shifts/week) in addition to full-time school. Stay tuned to hear how all of it turns out! :)

Sorry I don't have many pictures to post today. I will hopefully get to post how the newly decorated inside of the farmhouse looks soon :)

Jobs

This handsome guy just got a job. --->

an AWESOME job!!!

He will be starting in two weeks as a personal trainer at the most "posh" gym I've ever seen, The Pro Sports Club. 

Matt loves to exercise. He cares a lot about people. This is the perfect job for him. Let me tell you how cool he is for getting to this point...

Back in May, Matt decided to get his personal training certification through a company called the National Council for Certified Personal Trainers, or NCCPT. He took the test in June, and passed with flying colors. As soon as he applied for this job at the Pro Sports Club, however, he found out that his certification wasn't valid. He needed to take another test - American College of Sports Medicine - and get certified though them before he could accept the job offer. PSC wanted him alright, but he'd have to retest first.

Oh yeah, and you have 10 days to take it. Because it takes a month to get the results back and we want you to start by then. 

So Matt ordered his study materials and waited and waited, and they finally arrived with 5 days to spare. Then he studied his little heart out. He was nervous. 

The night before his test, I was researching stuff online about the exam to see if I could find any info that would encourage him. Or give him helpful hints. All I found were forums discussing how impossibly hard this test is. How they studied for 6-8 months and didn't pass. How you need to literally memorize the book to pass. How one person even took it five times and still didn't pass (that would cost over $1000 dollars!!). Granted, most of the people that couldn't pass this test didn't have college degrees and not much anatomy/physiology education experience. Matt would be fine... after all, his Bachelor's is in this field! That has to count for something, right?!?! Hopefully.

So since I got all psyched out, all I could do was leave him alone to study, pray for him and let him know that I was proud of him. He took it and felt confident about it and we waited for 3 weeks to finally hear that he passed!!

Now that we have officially heard that he did great, he's all geared to start working in two weeks!!! This is such a blessing, since it's been SOOOO hard for me to find a job. 

Wait but you're a nurse?! You'll always have a job wherever you go!! Don't you know people at Seattle Children's?! I know a doctor that could probably get you a job! 

Yes, people. That would be true if I wasn't a new graduate nurse. That would be true if I was able to take the job that was handed to me from the pediatric oncology unit at Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City when I graduated because I had work and clinical experience there. But I didn't. And nobody trusts a new grad nurse around here, apparently. 

Except University of Washington's Nurse Practitioner program. I've definitely gotta hand them that one. Thanks guys!!

Probably one of the top 5 happiest days of my life.

In the meantime, I wait and apply, apply, apply. I attempt to network with people who have never worked with me. I try to talk people into name dropping for me everywhere I can think of. And I wait some more. My dad has always told me, "For every ten applications, you get one interview. For every ten interviews, you might get one job offer." I totally believe him now, except I think it's 1/100.  

Like I said, it's a GREAT thing I've now got a husband with a paycheck! I love him :)